Wednesday, July 23, 2008
WOS # 26 : 7 Ways to Tell If You Are Addicted to Porn, By Yvonne K. Fulbright
Superb analysis of the 'disconnected inside' syndrome, plaguing all ultra-educated people in most places around the world!
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,357323,00.html
------
FOXSexpert: 7 Ways to Tell If You Are Addicted to Porn
Friday, May 23, 2008
By Yvonne K. Fulbright
E-Mail Print Share:
FNC
Author’s note: This is not an article on whether or not erotica is morally wrong. It is not an article on whether porn use is an addiction (I'll get to those great debates at another time).
I pounced on it the moment it arrived. For months, I had been awaiting the publication of “The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography,” eager to hear its take on what has become a national dilemma.
Like it or not, porn has become a problem in this country. Forty million Americans visit an Internet porn site at least once a month – and it’s hitting many where it hurts.
Not so coincidentally, therapists are reporting an increased number of clients presenting porn-related problems. For example, 50 percent of divorce cases in 2002 involved porn, according to “The Porn Trap” authors Wendy and Larry Maltz.
So how does a person know that they’ve fallen into “the porn trap”?
When does a fun escape for an individual or couple become a nightmare?
Your father’s Playboy is just that – so yesterday. Porn is coming at us from all angles, and we’re no longer talking suggestive pin-up girls.
Between unsolicited emails, deceptive Internet links, pop-up windows, chat rooms, videos, games and the more than 400 million internet pages of porn for your viewing pleasure, erotica is hard to escape, whether it’s soft- or hard-core.
Even if you thought you’d never be caught in the web of porn, the wrong click at the opportune time could have you hooked. Spicing up sex is just one of many reasons people explore all sorts of erotica.
Click here to discuss this story.
Maltz and Maltz outline the following reasons you may decide to innocently get in on the action – ones that may ultimately be a disaster waiting to happen:
— Your relationship, although committed, is sexless.
— Your understanding of sex is that porn equals pleasure.
— It’s easily accessible.
— You view porn as a stress reliever.
— You are having trouble being intimate with another human being.
It may seem harmless at first. Everything may seem under control. You’re just in it for kicks, right? But, as too many people can tell you, porn use is a slippery slope if you don’t keep yourself in check.
Here are some major red flags that you may have a problem with pornography:
1. You’ve become anti-social.
You are spending more time with pornography than you are with the outside world. If you are single (and even if you are putting yourself out there) your preoccupation with porn may be hindering your ability to establish long-term, monogamous relationships. If you are involved with someone, you may find yourself bowing out of couple and familial obligations to steal moments with your laptop or DVD player. Bottom line: You only have eyes for porn stars and no one else.
2. You’re lying to your partner.
Your once honest relationship is now plagued by secrecy and dishonesty as you try to hide your porn habit. About 70 percent of people keep their porn use a secret. And many will go to all sorts of extremes in making sure that they are not found out. Even when busted, many will do or say anything to hide the truth.
3. Your partner is no longer attractive.
Unbeknownst to your partner, s/he has competition – and it’s your favorite porn star. Obsessed with fantasy characters, you find it hard to get turned on to the real thing, including yourself. That’s right; you’re not even letting yourself off the hook. Casting yourself against fiction, you’re sizing yourself up as unattractive. Either way, you are likely avoiding or completely uninterested in sex with your lover.
4. Your sex life with your partner is suffering.
Both your sexual desire and functioning, including arousal, have taken a nose dive. You and your lover are feeling robbed of romance, passion and emotional closeness. This is because you are not truly present with your partner. Emotionally distant, you are too busy having sex with porn. Ultimately, you are dissatisfied with your actual sex life, and this is affecting your relationship.
5. Your concept of “real intimacy” has become warped.
When you re-emerge from the fantasy world, you’re finding that your expectations about sex, sexual partners and intimacy have become unrealistic. You’re only interested in those who look and act like porn stars (which severely limit your dating pool if single). Sadly, you start to think there must be something “wrong” with your lover for not putting out like a porn star. Furthermore, you’re objectifying others, wondering what he or she would look like unclothed or how they would act during sex.
6. The habit is causing you distress.
Torn between desire and shame, your use of porn is causing you physiological and emotional distress. You may feel like a “sex pervert,” or suffer from isolation, shame, anger, unrest, depression and irritability. You may be distressed over the fact that using porn conflicts with your value system. Overall, your porn kink is starting to cause family, work, legal and/or spiritual problems.
7. You are engaging in risky behaviors.
You might be OK with ideas that usually make you think twice, for instance, having unprotected sex, but now you are engaging in behavior that is out of control. Soliciting a prostitute, looking at child pornography or anything involving animals or violence warrants a need for help.
If your porn habit is causing you to neglect important life matters, you should seek professional help, especially if it is causing you and your partner distress. A sex counselor or therapist may be able to help.
It also wouldn’t hurt to read “The Porn Trap,” which I thought was well-written and thoughtful.
— National Strategy to Fight HIV/AIDS Needed. Advocates attending a congressional briefing Tuesday called on the U.S. to implement a plan targeting high-risk populations in reducing the stigma against HIV and AIDS. A plan mirroring the framework of the President George W. Bush’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief is being suggested by some.
— Aussies Prefer a Comprehensive Approach. A study out of the University of Sydney has found that most parents in Australia support comprehensive sex education programs starting in primary school. The vast majority want realistic programs that offer information on birth control and safer sex rather than abstinence alone. In fact, 15 percent of parents surveyed felt the topic of abstinence should be banned from sex education classes entirely.
— Up to 1 in Ten Women Suffer From Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD). A recent American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists meeting suggested that only one-third of those with HSDD seek advice or help. However, the condition can have a serious impact on one's quality of life, causing psychological distress and impacting intimate relationships negatively.
Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,357323,00.html
------
FOXSexpert: 7 Ways to Tell If You Are Addicted to Porn
Friday, May 23, 2008
By Yvonne K. Fulbright
E-Mail Print Share:
FNC
Author’s note: This is not an article on whether or not erotica is morally wrong. It is not an article on whether porn use is an addiction (I'll get to those great debates at another time).
I pounced on it the moment it arrived. For months, I had been awaiting the publication of “The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography,” eager to hear its take on what has become a national dilemma.
Like it or not, porn has become a problem in this country. Forty million Americans visit an Internet porn site at least once a month – and it’s hitting many where it hurts.
Not so coincidentally, therapists are reporting an increased number of clients presenting porn-related problems. For example, 50 percent of divorce cases in 2002 involved porn, according to “The Porn Trap” authors Wendy and Larry Maltz.
So how does a person know that they’ve fallen into “the porn trap”?
When does a fun escape for an individual or couple become a nightmare?
Your father’s Playboy is just that – so yesterday. Porn is coming at us from all angles, and we’re no longer talking suggestive pin-up girls.
Between unsolicited emails, deceptive Internet links, pop-up windows, chat rooms, videos, games and the more than 400 million internet pages of porn for your viewing pleasure, erotica is hard to escape, whether it’s soft- or hard-core.
Even if you thought you’d never be caught in the web of porn, the wrong click at the opportune time could have you hooked. Spicing up sex is just one of many reasons people explore all sorts of erotica.
Click here to discuss this story.
Maltz and Maltz outline the following reasons you may decide to innocently get in on the action – ones that may ultimately be a disaster waiting to happen:
— Your relationship, although committed, is sexless.
— Your understanding of sex is that porn equals pleasure.
— It’s easily accessible.
— You view porn as a stress reliever.
— You are having trouble being intimate with another human being.
It may seem harmless at first. Everything may seem under control. You’re just in it for kicks, right? But, as too many people can tell you, porn use is a slippery slope if you don’t keep yourself in check.
Here are some major red flags that you may have a problem with pornography:
1. You’ve become anti-social.
You are spending more time with pornography than you are with the outside world. If you are single (and even if you are putting yourself out there) your preoccupation with porn may be hindering your ability to establish long-term, monogamous relationships. If you are involved with someone, you may find yourself bowing out of couple and familial obligations to steal moments with your laptop or DVD player. Bottom line: You only have eyes for porn stars and no one else.
2. You’re lying to your partner.
Your once honest relationship is now plagued by secrecy and dishonesty as you try to hide your porn habit. About 70 percent of people keep their porn use a secret. And many will go to all sorts of extremes in making sure that they are not found out. Even when busted, many will do or say anything to hide the truth.
3. Your partner is no longer attractive.
Unbeknownst to your partner, s/he has competition – and it’s your favorite porn star. Obsessed with fantasy characters, you find it hard to get turned on to the real thing, including yourself. That’s right; you’re not even letting yourself off the hook. Casting yourself against fiction, you’re sizing yourself up as unattractive. Either way, you are likely avoiding or completely uninterested in sex with your lover.
4. Your sex life with your partner is suffering.
Both your sexual desire and functioning, including arousal, have taken a nose dive. You and your lover are feeling robbed of romance, passion and emotional closeness. This is because you are not truly present with your partner. Emotionally distant, you are too busy having sex with porn. Ultimately, you are dissatisfied with your actual sex life, and this is affecting your relationship.
5. Your concept of “real intimacy” has become warped.
When you re-emerge from the fantasy world, you’re finding that your expectations about sex, sexual partners and intimacy have become unrealistic. You’re only interested in those who look and act like porn stars (which severely limit your dating pool if single). Sadly, you start to think there must be something “wrong” with your lover for not putting out like a porn star. Furthermore, you’re objectifying others, wondering what he or she would look like unclothed or how they would act during sex.
6. The habit is causing you distress.
Torn between desire and shame, your use of porn is causing you physiological and emotional distress. You may feel like a “sex pervert,” or suffer from isolation, shame, anger, unrest, depression and irritability. You may be distressed over the fact that using porn conflicts with your value system. Overall, your porn kink is starting to cause family, work, legal and/or spiritual problems.
7. You are engaging in risky behaviors.
You might be OK with ideas that usually make you think twice, for instance, having unprotected sex, but now you are engaging in behavior that is out of control. Soliciting a prostitute, looking at child pornography or anything involving animals or violence warrants a need for help.
If your porn habit is causing you to neglect important life matters, you should seek professional help, especially if it is causing you and your partner distress. A sex counselor or therapist may be able to help.
It also wouldn’t hurt to read “The Porn Trap,” which I thought was well-written and thoughtful.
— National Strategy to Fight HIV/AIDS Needed. Advocates attending a congressional briefing Tuesday called on the U.S. to implement a plan targeting high-risk populations in reducing the stigma against HIV and AIDS. A plan mirroring the framework of the President George W. Bush’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief is being suggested by some.
— Aussies Prefer a Comprehensive Approach. A study out of the University of Sydney has found that most parents in Australia support comprehensive sex education programs starting in primary school. The vast majority want realistic programs that offer information on birth control and safer sex rather than abstinence alone. In fact, 15 percent of parents surveyed felt the topic of abstinence should be banned from sex education classes entirely.
— Up to 1 in Ten Women Suffer From Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD). A recent American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists meeting suggested that only one-third of those with HSDD seek advice or help. However, the condition can have a serious impact on one's quality of life, causing psychological distress and impacting intimate relationships negatively.
Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."
Koti-koti pranam to all the matas of the world.
Have you seen God?
Yes?
No?
Maybe?!
surely, yes! all the mothers (okay, the true mothers!) of the world are definitely divya shakti.
usko nahin dekha hamne sabhi, par uski zaroorat kya hogi, hey maa, hey maa teri surat se alag bhagwan ki surat kya hogi!
sachi muchi!
a happy pattanathu kuti payal!
(that's in tamil!).
Yes?
No?
Maybe?!
surely, yes! all the mothers (okay, the true mothers!) of the world are definitely divya shakti.
usko nahin dekha hamne sabhi, par uski zaroorat kya hogi, hey maa, hey maa teri surat se alag bhagwan ki surat kya hogi!
sachi muchi!
a happy pattanathu kuti payal!
(that's in tamil!).
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Wonder if there a wonder-pill for anything?! pill=positively ill!!
thought-provoking research on depressive effect of pills.
http://www.aphroditewomenshealth.com/news/hormones_depression.shtml
give me amma/pattiamma, old-school home-management anytime!
old-fashioned women were not necessarily shackled, they definitely did lead more happy, all-round lives, instead of just the hedonistic chasing of 'sensual pleasures'.
They might have suffered in silence or sacrificed a lot for their families/children, especially, but i would like to think that most did it willingly/naturally, rather than out of compulsion. matrutva is like that. all encompassing, unconditional love.
and here are the modern-day women, wanting to keep away from the godliness opportunity of child-rearing, and thus going against nature, they lower their naturally sublime/exalted selves.
hope to see the return of shakti to her rightful place as the queen of the home.
nuclear families/single, desolate souls would certainly be missing the loving touch of that sometimes-suffering, but always enduring and shining maa, who takes true pride and joy in her family doing well.
Today, there is no sanctity to family/marriage/relationships, well, in most cases, but certainly there must be exceptions and one can stem the rot/turn the tide by social awakening/interaction.
why can't we talk about these things with assertiveness, sincerity and an understanding, not with witch-hunting. the younger generation needs caring, affectionate understanding. their are witnessing living, private hells, and not able to voice it. VIRTUAL REALITY IS REALLY STINGING and the pity is nobody can see it/watch it and protect himself/herself.
the invidual vivekam is the only hope, and that is nowadays very feeble.
asman pe hai khuda aur zameen pe ham, aaj kal woh iss taraf dekhta hain kam!
phir bhi umeedon ko pal bhar ke liye jeene do.
for the sake of the children, young and old, and the sublime, human spirit, which must be maintained, otherwise the world will turn into a sophisticated zombieland/hell, in other words!
hell is bewitching, looks wonderful but feels awful!
give me a stark heaven anytime, devoid of all 'entertainment' of the mayajaal-kind but full of hope and possibilities!
hey, mahadev, ham sab ki aur aapki bhi laaj rahe.
jai hi ho.
ganesh.
http://www.aphroditewomenshealth.com/news/hormones_depression.shtml
give me amma/pattiamma, old-school home-management anytime!
old-fashioned women were not necessarily shackled, they definitely did lead more happy, all-round lives, instead of just the hedonistic chasing of 'sensual pleasures'.
They might have suffered in silence or sacrificed a lot for their families/children, especially, but i would like to think that most did it willingly/naturally, rather than out of compulsion. matrutva is like that. all encompassing, unconditional love.
and here are the modern-day women, wanting to keep away from the godliness opportunity of child-rearing, and thus going against nature, they lower their naturally sublime/exalted selves.
hope to see the return of shakti to her rightful place as the queen of the home.
nuclear families/single, desolate souls would certainly be missing the loving touch of that sometimes-suffering, but always enduring and shining maa, who takes true pride and joy in her family doing well.
Today, there is no sanctity to family/marriage/relationships, well, in most cases, but certainly there must be exceptions and one can stem the rot/turn the tide by social awakening/interaction.
why can't we talk about these things with assertiveness, sincerity and an understanding, not with witch-hunting. the younger generation needs caring, affectionate understanding. their are witnessing living, private hells, and not able to voice it. VIRTUAL REALITY IS REALLY STINGING and the pity is nobody can see it/watch it and protect himself/herself.
the invidual vivekam is the only hope, and that is nowadays very feeble.
asman pe hai khuda aur zameen pe ham, aaj kal woh iss taraf dekhta hain kam!
phir bhi umeedon ko pal bhar ke liye jeene do.
for the sake of the children, young and old, and the sublime, human spirit, which must be maintained, otherwise the world will turn into a sophisticated zombieland/hell, in other words!
hell is bewitching, looks wonderful but feels awful!
give me a stark heaven anytime, devoid of all 'entertainment' of the mayajaal-kind but full of hope and possibilities!
hey, mahadev, ham sab ki aur aapki bhi laaj rahe.
jai hi ho.
ganesh.
Monday, July 14, 2008
WOS # 24 : What happened to marriage? Mariapaula Karadimas, Simon Fraser University
speak out: What happened to marriage?
To me, marriage has always been grounded in the concept of true love. As a little girl I thought I would grow up, fall deeply in love with someone, get married and never look back. But today's generation, spawned from hippie, or at least post-'60s parents, grew up sneaking boyfriends and girlfriends into their bedrooms. Heck, some parents even took in their child's partner with open arms and parented both children.
The consequences of practising free love in our teens and early 20s do not compare with the consequences that our grandparents faced. We sure as hell don't need to get married to share a bed openly with someone. Perhaps this is the downfall of marriage. Even true love won't always prompt a ceremony, so long as the couple has the freedom to be free with one another. The 20th century has led us into temptation and we haven't looked back.
During my teenage years, pre-marital sex among my friends started between the ages of 14 and 17. Depending on with whom and how many, the most you would suffer was a little gossip and possibly a grounding. Marriage, a concept that helped build civilisations for time immemorial, is no longer necessary. Living in sin is hardly a threat to the social order of things.
However, for centuries, marriage was considered more important as a social construct than a true union between soulmates. Take the story of Romeo and Juliet; the pair committed suicide trying to re-write the laws of marriage - fighting for true love over social responsibility. Today, if we do marry, we are expected to marry because of true love, and not for the mere sake of a union between families or the security of future generations.
Soon marriage may be non-existent given the freedom we have to live in sin with our partners. Men and women do not even have the pressure to produce future generations. I have three sisters and numerous female cousins. We all agree that some of us may not want children, possibly wouldn't make good mothers, or are just too selfish to think about having full-fledged families. The pressure to find a home, a job, and a partner is hard enough; why add kids into the mix?
Will we be regretting our single or common law status sans children when we're 40 and are nearing the end of our childbearing days? Will there be a generation of singles who wish they had conformed to tradition when they had the chance? And if not this generation, then perhaps these will be, among others, the shortcomings of the generation that will lead us into the 22nd century - only a mere 95 years away.
Marriage has been reduced to the necessary pretenses of true love. But who are the romantics out there who believe true love can survive in the face of the new social construct of independence?
We look to television, where women have been accepted as single mothers since the days of Murphy Brown, and true love is a crap shoot. Take the shows The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, where a man or woman is faced with an onslaught of naughty, hard-bodied independent people, and the task of finding true love. Some are there for the sport of sexual competition, some for the idea of true love. And what a perfect setting, 20 singles vying for the attention of one individual - no holds barred.
Love, in the end, is a promise to marry, should the two survivors' love affair continue to heat up off-screen. Sometimes, their love is even tested with the option to choose money over the partner they have fought long and hard to be with. If true love exists, it will shine through the nasty, back-stabbing game-playing that is the marketing strategy of these shows. True love is truly put to the test. So far, no more than one couple resulting from these shows has lasted longer than a year. Isn't love supposed to be a whirlwind of emotion, something that you would put up a fight for to protect from the intrusion of back-stabbing and game-playing?
If true love is all we have to lead us to the altar, then marriage is surely a dying tradition. Is it not safe to say that marriage may not be around at all in the next century given the fact that it is no longer backed by the traditional order of society? Hasn't true love become a joke that is fed to us as we watch Nick and Jessica's reality show, Newlyweds, shot months before and is now simultaneously airing during their separation?
"Another one bites the dust," is the headline of so many entertainment weeklies displayed at the cashiers' stands as I stand in line at the supermarket with my common law boyfriend, who, at 25, I've been living with for the past six years.
To me, marriage has always been grounded in the concept of true love. As a little girl I thought I would grow up, fall deeply in love with someone, get married and never look back. But today's generation, spawned from hippie, or at least post-'60s parents, grew up sneaking boyfriends and girlfriends into their bedrooms. Heck, some parents even took in their child's partner with open arms and parented both children.
The consequences of practising free love in our teens and early 20s do not compare with the consequences that our grandparents faced. We sure as hell don't need to get married to share a bed openly with someone. Perhaps this is the downfall of marriage. Even true love won't always prompt a ceremony, so long as the couple has the freedom to be free with one another. The 20th century has led us into temptation and we haven't looked back.
During my teenage years, pre-marital sex among my friends started between the ages of 14 and 17. Depending on with whom and how many, the most you would suffer was a little gossip and possibly a grounding. Marriage, a concept that helped build civilisations for time immemorial, is no longer necessary. Living in sin is hardly a threat to the social order of things.
However, for centuries, marriage was considered more important as a social construct than a true union between soulmates. Take the story of Romeo and Juliet; the pair committed suicide trying to re-write the laws of marriage - fighting for true love over social responsibility. Today, if we do marry, we are expected to marry because of true love, and not for the mere sake of a union between families or the security of future generations.
Soon marriage may be non-existent given the freedom we have to live in sin with our partners. Men and women do not even have the pressure to produce future generations. I have three sisters and numerous female cousins. We all agree that some of us may not want children, possibly wouldn't make good mothers, or are just too selfish to think about having full-fledged families. The pressure to find a home, a job, and a partner is hard enough; why add kids into the mix?
Will we be regretting our single or common law status sans children when we're 40 and are nearing the end of our childbearing days? Will there be a generation of singles who wish they had conformed to tradition when they had the chance? And if not this generation, then perhaps these will be, among others, the shortcomings of the generation that will lead us into the 22nd century - only a mere 95 years away.
Marriage has been reduced to the necessary pretenses of true love. But who are the romantics out there who believe true love can survive in the face of the new social construct of independence?
We look to television, where women have been accepted as single mothers since the days of Murphy Brown, and true love is a crap shoot. Take the shows The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, where a man or woman is faced with an onslaught of naughty, hard-bodied independent people, and the task of finding true love. Some are there for the sport of sexual competition, some for the idea of true love. And what a perfect setting, 20 singles vying for the attention of one individual - no holds barred.
Love, in the end, is a promise to marry, should the two survivors' love affair continue to heat up off-screen. Sometimes, their love is even tested with the option to choose money over the partner they have fought long and hard to be with. If true love exists, it will shine through the nasty, back-stabbing game-playing that is the marketing strategy of these shows. True love is truly put to the test. So far, no more than one couple resulting from these shows has lasted longer than a year. Isn't love supposed to be a whirlwind of emotion, something that you would put up a fight for to protect from the intrusion of back-stabbing and game-playing?
If true love is all we have to lead us to the altar, then marriage is surely a dying tradition. Is it not safe to say that marriage may not be around at all in the next century given the fact that it is no longer backed by the traditional order of society? Hasn't true love become a joke that is fed to us as we watch Nick and Jessica's reality show, Newlyweds, shot months before and is now simultaneously airing during their separation?
"Another one bites the dust," is the headline of so many entertainment weeklies displayed at the cashiers' stands as I stand in line at the supermarket with my common law boyfriend, who, at 25, I've been living with for the past six years.
WOS # 23
Great, inspiring article from the link :
http://www.aol.com.au/lifestyle/story/At-67-hippie-midwife-crusades-on-for-natural-childbirth/182711/index.html
----------
shows that true mettle/worth always shows up! the impersonal PC culture can't keep good, simple people down for long! goodness and natural justice prevails, later rather than sooner, these days, but prevail it does!
jai ho!
gi.
----------
At 67, hippie-midwife crusades on for natural childbirth
Despite living on a commune in rural Tennessee, Ina May Gaskin has had the kind of career success most people only dream about.
A midwife who never formally studied nursing, Gaskin has helped to bring home birth and lay midwifery back from the brink of extinction in the U.S. An obstetrical maneuver she learned from the indigenous Mayans of Guatemala has made it into scientific journals and medical textbooks, and her insistence on the rights of a birthing mother empowered a generation of women to demand changes from doctors and hospitals.
With a lifetime of accomplishment, the 67-year-old Gaskin has earned the right to slow down. But that is the farthest thing from her mind.
"At the time we began, I couldn't have dreamed that in 25 years' time women would be actively seeking Caesareans," she said.
Gaskin largely blames the nation's rising maternal death rate on the increase in Caesarean section births and the drugs sometimes used to induce labor.
The National Center for Health Statistics reported last month that the maternal death rate for 2005 has risen to about 15 women per 100,000 live births, more than double the 1998 rate of seven.
At least part of that increase is due to better reporting, but researchers say Caesareans also may be a factor.
Gaskin passionately believes natural childbirth is the answer. The number of women giving birth with a midwife has doubled over the last decade and accounts for about 8 percent of births today - the vast majority in hospitals. Still, she says it's a challenge to promote natural birth to a generation that favors comfort and convenience.
Promoting home births is an even tougher sell. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has continuously warned against home births as too risky.
In 1975, Gaskin published "Spiritual Midwifery," which included birth stories and a primer on delivering babies. Her book has sold around 750,000 copies, has been translated into four languages and has inspired a generation of women to become midwives.
Part of Gaskin's success has been that she combines an analytical mind with an instinctual understanding of birth.
She promoted the idea that a woman's state of mind will influence how easy her birth is and encouraged unorthodox ways to improve the woman's experience, like encouraging her to make out with her husband during labor.
At the same time, she kept detailed records of each birth, providing her commune, The Farm, with statistics that would prove important in the debate over the safety of out-of-hospital births.
She has tried to widen the reach of her message by airing natural birth videos from The Farm on television. "The women are so beautiful giving birth," she said.
TV stations rarely have run them, calling them too graphic.
"I started to think I should put them on YouTube," Gaskin said.
But the high rate of Caesarean sections in the U.S. may help Gaskin's message gain some traction. Former talk show host Ricki Lake produced and starred in a recent documentary that features Gaskin and is critical of hospital births and their high rate of C-sections.
The U.S. now has a Caesarean section rate of 31 percent, a figure the College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists agrees is troubling.
At the same time, this group of doctors who perform the C-sections also reiterates its "long-standing opposition to home births." In a recent statement, the organization said childbirth decisions "should not be dictated by what's fashionable, trendy, or the latest cause celebre."
Home births are not safe, their statement warns, because "a seemingly normal labor and delivery can quickly become life-threatening."
Over the years, studies on the safety of home births have conflicted. The doctors' group says research comparing the safety of home and hospital births has been limited and is not scientifically rigorous.
Their organization approves of the assistance of hospital midwives certified by the American College of Nurse Midwives. These midwives have nursing degrees or comparable training. The college of obstetricians warns against lay midwives like Gaskin, who have no formal medical training and who aid in home births.
Even so, the College of Nurse Midwives says home births can be safe and they are fans of Gaskin's. "She's quite a remarkable woman and an icon of midwifery," said Mairi Breen Rothman, a nurse midwife and consultant to the midwives college. Rothman herself was inspired by Gaskin's book.
Gaskin began her practice as one of about 250 hippies who pooled their money in 1971 to buy rural land south of Nashville to form a commune. Soon she and a few other women on The Farm were delivering 25 to 30 babies each month.
While training herself, Gaskin sought out doctors and other midwives and devoured medical texts. But she never sought a medical degree, instead helping to create an alternative certification so lay midwives could prove their competency.
Not all obstetricians think home births are inherently unsafe. New York obstetrician Heidi Rinehart spent a few weeks at The Farm while a medical student. Although her husband also is an obstetrician, when they were having a baby, they asked Gaskin to be their midwife.
But even doctors who've never heard of Gaskin have felt her influence because of patients who have read her books, seen her birth videos or heard her speak.
"They request or demand or vote with their feet to have the kind of birth they want," Rinehart said.
Now, Gaskin has a film in the works that is in keeping with her anti-establishment, freewheeling nature.
"We're doing a movie called 'The Orgasmic Birth,'" she said.
That's not a metaphor. Gaskin says that under the right circumstances women experience a sort of birth ecstasy.
"I mean, it's not a guarantee," she said, shrugging her shoulders and smiling, "but it's a possibility.
"It's the only way I can think to market it to (this) generation."
___
On the Net:
http://inamay.com
http://www.thefarmmidwives.org/
http://www.midwife.org/
http://www.acog.org/
Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
http://www.aol.com.au/lifestyle/story/At-67-hippie-midwife-crusades-on-for-natural-childbirth/182711/index.html
----------
shows that true mettle/worth always shows up! the impersonal PC culture can't keep good, simple people down for long! goodness and natural justice prevails, later rather than sooner, these days, but prevail it does!
jai ho!
gi.
----------
At 67, hippie-midwife crusades on for natural childbirth
Despite living on a commune in rural Tennessee, Ina May Gaskin has had the kind of career success most people only dream about.
A midwife who never formally studied nursing, Gaskin has helped to bring home birth and lay midwifery back from the brink of extinction in the U.S. An obstetrical maneuver she learned from the indigenous Mayans of Guatemala has made it into scientific journals and medical textbooks, and her insistence on the rights of a birthing mother empowered a generation of women to demand changes from doctors and hospitals.
With a lifetime of accomplishment, the 67-year-old Gaskin has earned the right to slow down. But that is the farthest thing from her mind.
"At the time we began, I couldn't have dreamed that in 25 years' time women would be actively seeking Caesareans," she said.
Gaskin largely blames the nation's rising maternal death rate on the increase in Caesarean section births and the drugs sometimes used to induce labor.
The National Center for Health Statistics reported last month that the maternal death rate for 2005 has risen to about 15 women per 100,000 live births, more than double the 1998 rate of seven.
At least part of that increase is due to better reporting, but researchers say Caesareans also may be a factor.
Gaskin passionately believes natural childbirth is the answer. The number of women giving birth with a midwife has doubled over the last decade and accounts for about 8 percent of births today - the vast majority in hospitals. Still, she says it's a challenge to promote natural birth to a generation that favors comfort and convenience.
Promoting home births is an even tougher sell. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has continuously warned against home births as too risky.
In 1975, Gaskin published "Spiritual Midwifery," which included birth stories and a primer on delivering babies. Her book has sold around 750,000 copies, has been translated into four languages and has inspired a generation of women to become midwives.
Part of Gaskin's success has been that she combines an analytical mind with an instinctual understanding of birth.
She promoted the idea that a woman's state of mind will influence how easy her birth is and encouraged unorthodox ways to improve the woman's experience, like encouraging her to make out with her husband during labor.
At the same time, she kept detailed records of each birth, providing her commune, The Farm, with statistics that would prove important in the debate over the safety of out-of-hospital births.
She has tried to widen the reach of her message by airing natural birth videos from The Farm on television. "The women are so beautiful giving birth," she said.
TV stations rarely have run them, calling them too graphic.
"I started to think I should put them on YouTube," Gaskin said.
But the high rate of Caesarean sections in the U.S. may help Gaskin's message gain some traction. Former talk show host Ricki Lake produced and starred in a recent documentary that features Gaskin and is critical of hospital births and their high rate of C-sections.
The U.S. now has a Caesarean section rate of 31 percent, a figure the College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists agrees is troubling.
At the same time, this group of doctors who perform the C-sections also reiterates its "long-standing opposition to home births." In a recent statement, the organization said childbirth decisions "should not be dictated by what's fashionable, trendy, or the latest cause celebre."
Home births are not safe, their statement warns, because "a seemingly normal labor and delivery can quickly become life-threatening."
Over the years, studies on the safety of home births have conflicted. The doctors' group says research comparing the safety of home and hospital births has been limited and is not scientifically rigorous.
Their organization approves of the assistance of hospital midwives certified by the American College of Nurse Midwives. These midwives have nursing degrees or comparable training. The college of obstetricians warns against lay midwives like Gaskin, who have no formal medical training and who aid in home births.
Even so, the College of Nurse Midwives says home births can be safe and they are fans of Gaskin's. "She's quite a remarkable woman and an icon of midwifery," said Mairi Breen Rothman, a nurse midwife and consultant to the midwives college. Rothman herself was inspired by Gaskin's book.
Gaskin began her practice as one of about 250 hippies who pooled their money in 1971 to buy rural land south of Nashville to form a commune. Soon she and a few other women on The Farm were delivering 25 to 30 babies each month.
While training herself, Gaskin sought out doctors and other midwives and devoured medical texts. But she never sought a medical degree, instead helping to create an alternative certification so lay midwives could prove their competency.
Not all obstetricians think home births are inherently unsafe. New York obstetrician Heidi Rinehart spent a few weeks at The Farm while a medical student. Although her husband also is an obstetrician, when they were having a baby, they asked Gaskin to be their midwife.
But even doctors who've never heard of Gaskin have felt her influence because of patients who have read her books, seen her birth videos or heard her speak.
"They request or demand or vote with their feet to have the kind of birth they want," Rinehart said.
Now, Gaskin has a film in the works that is in keeping with her anti-establishment, freewheeling nature.
"We're doing a movie called 'The Orgasmic Birth,'" she said.
That's not a metaphor. Gaskin says that under the right circumstances women experience a sort of birth ecstasy.
"I mean, it's not a guarantee," she said, shrugging her shoulders and smiling, "but it's a possibility.
"It's the only way I can think to market it to (this) generation."
___
On the Net:
http://inamay.com
http://www.thefarmmidwives.org/
http://www.midwife.org/
http://www.acog.org/
Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
44 years of immaterial brilliance-a short his-story in the making!
1). 1964-6th July : Birth in Karpakaunda vidhi, Coimbatore.
2). 1965-67 : The anjaan years : as an infant, in Chennai-mint street.
3). 1967-1969 : Chetpet, McNichols Road, Chennai. that bridge was there even at that time! studied L.K.G. in AVON English School, without knowing the origins of the name : stratford-upon-avon, the bard! learnt that after visiting the bard's home / hometown in 1990, during my first trip abroad! i think i went there with raghupathy!
4). 1969-1987 Jan. - those glorious, memorable years in apdo Vadodara/Baroda! Jai ho!
5). 1987 : ISMT, Ahmednagar + BSP, Bhilai.
6). 1988-1989 : BSP, Bhilai.
7). Dec. 1989 : Delhi tab door nahin tha! CII, DELHI.
8). Till May 7th, 1990 : CII, Delhi.
9). May 8th! 1990 till 1.9.1992 : CII, Chennai.
10). 1992-2000 : Out in the wilderness, THE ASK IT NETWORK, et. al.! wonderful experiments in life!
11). Oct. 2000-aaj tak! : Seahorse/MQCS, the dr. faustus saga, which hopefully will come to an end on 21st of July, 2008!
Jai ho!
and yes, definitely, for family's sake, if not for your own, MAKE THE NEXT FORTY-FOUR REALLY COUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jai hi ho!
ganesh.
2). 1965-67 : The anjaan years : as an infant, in Chennai-mint street.
3). 1967-1969 : Chetpet, McNichols Road, Chennai. that bridge was there even at that time! studied L.K.G. in AVON English School, without knowing the origins of the name : stratford-upon-avon, the bard! learnt that after visiting the bard's home / hometown in 1990, during my first trip abroad! i think i went there with raghupathy!
4). 1969-1987 Jan. - those glorious, memorable years in apdo Vadodara/Baroda! Jai ho!
5). 1987 : ISMT, Ahmednagar + BSP, Bhilai.
6). 1988-1989 : BSP, Bhilai.
7). Dec. 1989 : Delhi tab door nahin tha! CII, DELHI.
8). Till May 7th, 1990 : CII, Delhi.
9). May 8th! 1990 till 1.9.1992 : CII, Chennai.
10). 1992-2000 : Out in the wilderness, THE ASK IT NETWORK, et. al.! wonderful experiments in life!
11). Oct. 2000-aaj tak! : Seahorse/MQCS, the dr. faustus saga, which hopefully will come to an end on 21st of July, 2008!
Jai ho!
and yes, definitely, for family's sake, if not for your own, MAKE THE NEXT FORTY-FOUR REALLY COUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jai hi ho!
ganesh.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
WOS # 22 : Liberated Women? Think Again, by Joan Z. Shore
great short and sweet article, from :
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joan-z-shore/liberated-women-think-ag_b_32289.html
--------------
Call it liberation, emancipation, sexual equality -- we are living under a grand delusion.
Women (and some men) believe we have made tremendous strides in the past 60 years. Rosie the Riveter returned home at war's end, raised a family, went on the Pill, joined a Women's Lib group, returned to school, got a divorce, got a job, took a lover, retired to Boca, and is now a happy grandma.
Email
Print
Buzz up!on Yahoo!Not quite.
Her grown daughter has been the victim of domestic violence, and her 20-something granddaughter is getting breast implants. Welcome to the Brave New World of post-feminism.
Because we have broken through a few glass ceilings, because men are helping a bit with the housework, because in a few places we can get an abortion, we tend to think everything is improving. But take a hard look at what is happening around us: in films, on television, in magazines, on the internet, and in real life. Have we ever been immersed in so much nudity, so much violence, so much mysogyny? Have we ever been swilled so much pornography? Have females ever been so extensively used for sheer titillation and commercial gain?
We look in revulsion at Muslim women wrapped in scarves and veils. We pity them, and we despise the male chauvinism that imposes that on them. But here's the catch: they are not caught up in our Western cult of exhibitionism and vanity. They are not openly competing with each other for men and men's favors. They are even, to a large degree, protected from assault and rape because they are virtually invisible. Home is their domain, husbands are their guardians.
Somewhere, between that repressive culture and our own permissive one, there must be a middle way. We must understand that an internet hooker, a porn star, a naked fashion model, is not a liberated woman but a subjugated one. She is being exploited, or knowingly exploiting herself, for the sleaziest motives, and whatever she earns for that is shameful money. Prostitutes have more integrity.
Let's be honest -- we have taken women out of the factory, out of the kitchen, out of the maternity ward only to turn them, again, into sex objects. Sixty years ago, they were pin-ups or calendar girls; today, they're advertising gismos and media bimbos. This isn't progress -- it's promiscuity parading as freedom. And the biggest danger is that this shallow, cynical view of women ends up making them thoroughly interchangeable, dispensable and, ultimately, vulnerable.
This is not simply a feminist issue; this is a question of where we place our values. As long as we encourage and reward women solely for their entertainment value, we are turning them into dolls and puppets. We are denying their human-ness, and our own. We are creating a seraglio society.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joan-z-shore/liberated-women-think-ag_b_32289.html
--------------
Call it liberation, emancipation, sexual equality -- we are living under a grand delusion.
Women (and some men) believe we have made tremendous strides in the past 60 years. Rosie the Riveter returned home at war's end, raised a family, went on the Pill, joined a Women's Lib group, returned to school, got a divorce, got a job, took a lover, retired to Boca, and is now a happy grandma.
Buzz up!on Yahoo!Not quite.
Her grown daughter has been the victim of domestic violence, and her 20-something granddaughter is getting breast implants. Welcome to the Brave New World of post-feminism.
Because we have broken through a few glass ceilings, because men are helping a bit with the housework, because in a few places we can get an abortion, we tend to think everything is improving. But take a hard look at what is happening around us: in films, on television, in magazines, on the internet, and in real life. Have we ever been immersed in so much nudity, so much violence, so much mysogyny? Have we ever been swilled so much pornography? Have females ever been so extensively used for sheer titillation and commercial gain?
We look in revulsion at Muslim women wrapped in scarves and veils. We pity them, and we despise the male chauvinism that imposes that on them. But here's the catch: they are not caught up in our Western cult of exhibitionism and vanity. They are not openly competing with each other for men and men's favors. They are even, to a large degree, protected from assault and rape because they are virtually invisible. Home is their domain, husbands are their guardians.
Somewhere, between that repressive culture and our own permissive one, there must be a middle way. We must understand that an internet hooker, a porn star, a naked fashion model, is not a liberated woman but a subjugated one. She is being exploited, or knowingly exploiting herself, for the sleaziest motives, and whatever she earns for that is shameful money. Prostitutes have more integrity.
Let's be honest -- we have taken women out of the factory, out of the kitchen, out of the maternity ward only to turn them, again, into sex objects. Sixty years ago, they were pin-ups or calendar girls; today, they're advertising gismos and media bimbos. This isn't progress -- it's promiscuity parading as freedom. And the biggest danger is that this shallow, cynical view of women ends up making them thoroughly interchangeable, dispensable and, ultimately, vulnerable.
This is not simply a feminist issue; this is a question of where we place our values. As long as we encourage and reward women solely for their entertainment value, we are turning them into dolls and puppets. We are denying their human-ness, and our own. We are creating a seraglio society.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
WOS # 21 : The most important things in life
Pithy write-up from the link :
http://pages.prodigy.net/jmiller.cb/a398.html
------------
The most important things in life
What are the most important things in life? What do the
proverbs, the wise sayings of man through the ages, have to say
on this point? Let us search them. If we did so we would come
up with the following list:
- sufficient food to eat
- a good wife (or mate)
- good health
- a good conscience
- a good name
- wisdom, good sense, spiritual truth, understanding of
life
Now let us ask another question. What things are most commonly
pursued by man? What does the common, ordinary man pursue in
life? We can list them:
- temporary pleasure (gratification of appetites)
- material possessions, wealth
- social position, being "important"
- friendship, friends, acceptance by a group
When we ask the question "What are the important things in
life?" what we really mean is: "What things in life bring the
best happiness?" Both are just different ways of phrasing the
same question.
What a person pursues in life depends on what he values. His
values, basic tastes and preferences, determine his priorities
and the way he occupies himself and spends his time. The most
basic, underlying values of the wise man are Wisdom, Justice,
Goodness, and Virtue. These are his first loves. They are
what drive him, determining his tastes and preferences. The
ordinary man, however, has as his first love pleasure and the
other things we have listed. He occupies himself with the
pursuit of Thrill and Temporary Pleasure. He focuses on the
temporary pleasures available to him through catering to his
base appetites. He spends his time in front of a TV set
watching programs that excite his fantasies and provide him
temporary thrills and erotic pleasure; he finds his pleasure in
eating, sex, gambling, coarse humor, alcohol and drugs. The
wise man, on the other hand, is driven by a different set of
tastes and preferences, likes and dislikes. He is attracted to
that which gives spiritual understanding. He is interested in
the serious questions of life and society. He is interested in
the problems of his fellow man. He is interested in the
dilemmas of life --- spiritual, moral, economic, etc.. He is
interested in spiritual and moral truth. And he tends to
prefer activities that aid him in these interests -- that
provide insight, knowledge, perspective, etc.. He is likely to
be a lover of reflection and also of books.
What are the pitfalls of the pursuits of the common man? The
problem with these pursuits is that that most of them are both
illusory and, at least when taken to excess, self-destructive.
And that they tend to sidetrack his energies and attention from
the thing that is really important in life: the pursuit of
wisdom and spiritual truth.
The truth of the matter is that the path of temporary pleasure
is often filled with snares and traps. Very often it is a very
different one from the one dictated by wisdom and prudence and
one is forced to choose. And the way one chooses shows what
kind of person he is.
http://pages.prodigy.net/jmiller.cb/a398.html
------------
The most important things in life
What are the most important things in life? What do the
proverbs, the wise sayings of man through the ages, have to say
on this point? Let us search them. If we did so we would come
up with the following list:
- sufficient food to eat
- a good wife (or mate)
- good health
- a good conscience
- a good name
- wisdom, good sense, spiritual truth, understanding of
life
Now let us ask another question. What things are most commonly
pursued by man? What does the common, ordinary man pursue in
life? We can list them:
- temporary pleasure (gratification of appetites)
- material possessions, wealth
- social position, being "important"
- friendship, friends, acceptance by a group
When we ask the question "What are the important things in
life?" what we really mean is: "What things in life bring the
best happiness?" Both are just different ways of phrasing the
same question.
What a person pursues in life depends on what he values. His
values, basic tastes and preferences, determine his priorities
and the way he occupies himself and spends his time. The most
basic, underlying values of the wise man are Wisdom, Justice,
Goodness, and Virtue. These are his first loves. They are
what drive him, determining his tastes and preferences. The
ordinary man, however, has as his first love pleasure and the
other things we have listed. He occupies himself with the
pursuit of Thrill and Temporary Pleasure. He focuses on the
temporary pleasures available to him through catering to his
base appetites. He spends his time in front of a TV set
watching programs that excite his fantasies and provide him
temporary thrills and erotic pleasure; he finds his pleasure in
eating, sex, gambling, coarse humor, alcohol and drugs. The
wise man, on the other hand, is driven by a different set of
tastes and preferences, likes and dislikes. He is attracted to
that which gives spiritual understanding. He is interested in
the serious questions of life and society. He is interested in
the problems of his fellow man. He is interested in the
dilemmas of life --- spiritual, moral, economic, etc.. He is
interested in spiritual and moral truth. And he tends to
prefer activities that aid him in these interests -- that
provide insight, knowledge, perspective, etc.. He is likely to
be a lover of reflection and also of books.
What are the pitfalls of the pursuits of the common man? The
problem with these pursuits is that that most of them are both
illusory and, at least when taken to excess, self-destructive.
And that they tend to sidetrack his energies and attention from
the thing that is really important in life: the pursuit of
wisdom and spiritual truth.
The truth of the matter is that the path of temporary pleasure
is often filled with snares and traps. Very often it is a very
different one from the one dictated by wisdom and prudence and
one is forced to choose. And the way one chooses shows what
kind of person he is.
WOS # 20 : The most important thing in life
Great write-up from the link :
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Orbin2.html
--------------------
The most important thing in life.
Probably the most significant question we can ask ourselves is what is the most important thing in life. The question has far reaching implications in that the answers (or lack of them) that we arrive at can determine the course of the rest of our lives.
Many would consider money or financial success as the most important factor in life.The high rate of suicide amongst lottery winners would contradict this. Others would search for fame, yet the list of famous people who have committed suicide or died from an overdose of drugs continues to grow.
Good health would be high on anyones priorities, and the presence of love in ones life is also of major importance.
I would propose that wisdom is the most important thing in life.The best definition of wisdom that I have read is “ the best means to achieve the best ends”.Wisdom is needed to achieve the best results in the myriad decisions we all need to make daily in our personal,financial,family,work,community lives.
Each one of us has a unique mindset or set of beliefs which is continuously changing and which we use to make decisions, each of which has significant roll on effect on how the rest of our lives turn out.These mindsets are determined by the unique environments we have grown up in, our age, our education and the cumulative impact that each life experience has had on us.
Our unique mindset is either working in our favour or working against us in each and every situation that we face.One way that we can test how online our thinking is in a particular situation is to look at the results we achieve as a result of the actions we took. Good results means our governing beliefs were online, bad results means that we need to re-evaluate our beliefs to determine what caused the negative outcome.
I would propose that life is very much like a game and that a comparison between the two is very enlightening.In any game, you need to be fit, possess certain skills and have a good knowledge of the rules in order to participate.In life, we need to have a good knowledge of the rules that apply and to use this knowledge continuously in order to assess and make decisions in every situation that we face.The more intensely we play the game of life,the better our knowledge and application of the rules, the better the results we will achieve, much like a football player who is skilled, trains hard and knows the rules.
During the course of our lives we progress from being dependent on our parents for food and shelter and emotional support, to being independent as we become young adults.We learn to make decisions for ourselves, and as we see the results of our decisions we get feedback and the resultant experience adds wisdom to subsequent decisions.
The next stage is to develop relationships with others,or interdependence, and it is through these relationships that significant personal growth can occur.Many of us however have a low sense of self esteem which holds us back in relating to others.
How then do we make significant progress in our lives, as evidenced by personal growth or an increase in wisdom? We look at the results we have and are achieving in our lives.If our results are unsatisfactory, we reassess our beliefs and make adjustments to our actions.Additional important feedback is our emotions (fear, anger,unhappiness,disappointment etc) which acts as warning signs and which leads us to evaluate either our rules or beliefs, or our actions. Our target is to lead a joy-filled, intense yet balanced life, leading to good life results and continually increasing wisdom.
Author's Bio
Tony Orbin is a chemical engineer with a passion for the field of self improvement. He is in the process of starting to give courses in this field. Tony can be contacted on aorbin@iafrica.com.
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Orbin2.html
--------------------
The most important thing in life.
Probably the most significant question we can ask ourselves is what is the most important thing in life. The question has far reaching implications in that the answers (or lack of them) that we arrive at can determine the course of the rest of our lives.
Many would consider money or financial success as the most important factor in life.The high rate of suicide amongst lottery winners would contradict this. Others would search for fame, yet the list of famous people who have committed suicide or died from an overdose of drugs continues to grow.
Good health would be high on anyones priorities, and the presence of love in ones life is also of major importance.
I would propose that wisdom is the most important thing in life.The best definition of wisdom that I have read is “ the best means to achieve the best ends”.Wisdom is needed to achieve the best results in the myriad decisions we all need to make daily in our personal,financial,family,work,community lives.
Each one of us has a unique mindset or set of beliefs which is continuously changing and which we use to make decisions, each of which has significant roll on effect on how the rest of our lives turn out.These mindsets are determined by the unique environments we have grown up in, our age, our education and the cumulative impact that each life experience has had on us.
Our unique mindset is either working in our favour or working against us in each and every situation that we face.One way that we can test how online our thinking is in a particular situation is to look at the results we achieve as a result of the actions we took. Good results means our governing beliefs were online, bad results means that we need to re-evaluate our beliefs to determine what caused the negative outcome.
I would propose that life is very much like a game and that a comparison between the two is very enlightening.In any game, you need to be fit, possess certain skills and have a good knowledge of the rules in order to participate.In life, we need to have a good knowledge of the rules that apply and to use this knowledge continuously in order to assess and make decisions in every situation that we face.The more intensely we play the game of life,the better our knowledge and application of the rules, the better the results we will achieve, much like a football player who is skilled, trains hard and knows the rules.
During the course of our lives we progress from being dependent on our parents for food and shelter and emotional support, to being independent as we become young adults.We learn to make decisions for ourselves, and as we see the results of our decisions we get feedback and the resultant experience adds wisdom to subsequent decisions.
The next stage is to develop relationships with others,or interdependence, and it is through these relationships that significant personal growth can occur.Many of us however have a low sense of self esteem which holds us back in relating to others.
How then do we make significant progress in our lives, as evidenced by personal growth or an increase in wisdom? We look at the results we have and are achieving in our lives.If our results are unsatisfactory, we reassess our beliefs and make adjustments to our actions.Additional important feedback is our emotions (fear, anger,unhappiness,disappointment etc) which acts as warning signs and which leads us to evaluate either our rules or beliefs, or our actions. Our target is to lead a joy-filled, intense yet balanced life, leading to good life results and continually increasing wisdom.
Author's Bio
Tony Orbin is a chemical engineer with a passion for the field of self improvement. He is in the process of starting to give courses in this field. Tony can be contacted on aorbin@iafrica.com.
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